Memoirs of an MBA...

got this as an email attachment...

Memoirs of an MBA...

July 26

Dear Diary,
I can't hold myself down. My FIRST day on the job!! And I like it already. "Assistant Junior Deputy to the Vice Chairman - Manufacturing". My dad was thrilled when he heard my designation. "What the f!@#!!!" were his exact words. Oh I love it when my parents are happy...
Need to meet HR in half an hour. I cant wait to get my first Employee ID Card and cubicle. I hope Parthasarathy Whatayblouse Crappers is the beginning of great things.
P.S. I have brought my favorite textbooks back from the insti. OD, OM and HR should help me grow rapidly in the organization. And I WILL handle soft issues before facing hard issues here at PWC.

July 28th

Dear Diary,
Had a lot of fun with HR yesterday. The guy who had recruited me had left a month ago. So they didnt know I was joining. We had a hearty laugh over that one.
I'll get my cubicle in a few days time. For the time being I am sharing a nice one with Claire. She's with Corporate Communication. The phone doesnt work though...

August 2nd

Dear Diary,
Met my boss today. He spend a lot of time with my CV and then asked me how I managed to get a job with them. (Even he knows how lucky they are to get me..) He told me to review our material ordering system in the err... umm... the... the "big yellow and blue noisy machine section" of the plant.
Claire is working on an "Our Employees Love Us" campaign. The office boy had just resigned. So she got me to pose with an apron and a tray of cookies for a photo. They are going to call me Ramon and use it for ads. I am going to be famous.

August 7th

Dear Diary,
My first breakthrough. I have decided to order nickel ball bearings using the EQO.. QEO... whatever formula. It takes into account item cost, holding cost and weight of ball bearing I think. The purchase guy gave me a funny look when he saw my annual requisition contract form. He is obviously not an MBA...
Claire resigned today. She told me carry on with the "Our Employees Love Us" campaign.
P.S. Lesson for the week. You cannot order 0.7564 of a ball bearing. It has to be in whole numbers.

August 11th

Dear Diary,
I just got a shipment of 4384 ball bearings. I checked up with Engineering. They said that should be enough for around 14 years of requirement. I gave them 3 and stashed away the rest in a cupboard in my room. If prices of ball bearings go up, I see a lot of potential savings.
I have decided to develop informal channels of communication. From tomorrow I will spend a little time next to the coffee machine to understand the unspoken messages within the underbelly of the firm. (That OD book is good)

August 14th

Dear Diary,
I sent my first official letter today. It was to our Facilities manager Merry Le Bian. She is a hottie. I told her that the Coffee Machine takes too much time to reheat between refills. Wrote it in a WAC format and all with a table of contents and everything. She is sure going to impressed!! I spell checked it in MS word and emailed it to her an hour ago. No reply yet.
They scrapped the "Our Employees Love Us" campaign. The photo shoot was taking up too much time, and people were being forced to stay late without extra pay. Someone finally went and vandalised the banner. It now reads "Our Employers Shove Us". I offered to model for all the snaps and videos. They called me a dickhead. I was delighted. Dickhead is internal slang for "Big Stud". HR told me. Everyone calls me that...
P.S. One more shipment of ball bearings came. Again 4384. The contract can't be changed now. I dont have too much space left in my cupboard.

August 25th

Dear Diary,
My letter came back. It had a pink post-it on it from Merry. "Please proofread" it said. It was CC'd to my boss. How was I supposed to know MS Word would spell check her name and change it to Merry Lesbian????!!!! Where's natural justice?
Today five minutes before a meeting the cupboard door broke open. It took me ten minutes to pick up all the ball bearings from the floor. I had to run to the board room for the meeting and slipped on a bearing which rolled under the door. I fell on the coffee machine and tipped coffee powder into the polymer mixing maching tray. Noone saw anything.
P.S. Sorry for the long break. My computer crashed. There was a mail from an old friend. She's now married into the Welchia family I think. Crashed after that. Strange name that Welchia...

September 2nd

Dear Diary,
My boss told me I may not last the probation period. I was mighty thrilled to hear that. Imagine!! Permanent in less than three months!! That should be some sort of company record.
I made a presentation to all the staff yesterday. Some 300 people were there. I think I sent good vibes. Everyone was smiling and nodding their heads during the presentation. Someone later told me my fly was open the whole time. But I don't think anyone noticed. The presentation was on "An Open Culture: Let the feeling show!!"

p.s. 17156 ball bearings. I floated a scheme to give each employee a ball bearing for every year of service. The HR manager immediately convened a meeting with my boss. Every suggestion counts here at PWC.

September 4th

Dear Diary,
I have been transferred to the office in Sub-Saharan Africa. I will be heading the Room Heater and Hot Water Geyser products division. They have also told me to pay for all the ball bearings I bought. I think it speaks much of the entrepreneurial spirit. I have been told to leave immediately for Kujumbinana.
P.S. A foreign posting in under a year!!!

September 5th

Dear Diary,
I am in Kujumbinana. We don't have a branch here.......

Coach down...

Something is terribly wrong somewhere. I grew up believing, and I still believe that games and sports are necessary for our complete development. They not only help us stay healthy and active, but also make us mentally strong and help us become good human beings. But if this is the case, why did Bob Woolmer leave us behind, helplessly questioning the very beliefs that define us? For someone who was instrumental in making the South African team what they are today, i guess he was not new to failures and heartbreaks on this world stage of cricket. He had gone through similar situation when in the '99 world cup semis, South Africa fell after a terrible run out in the last over.

Yesterday was a sad day for the cricket world. One of the few good men has departed.

Rest In Peace, coach.

--Andy

Melbourne marked RED!!!

Well, has a new era begun???

The F1 season began today with the circus on display at Albert Park circuit in Melbourne. It was a thrilling race for sure. Just for the fact that it was the first race of the season, it got the fans' adrenalin pumping. Kimi drove a fast race, cold and calculated. That man's a racing machine, everything's being calculated in his brain - real time. That is perhaps the most striking difference between him and Schumi. Where Schumi is passionate and expressive, Kimi's cold and straightfaced.

Is this post Schumi era goine to be the fight between a rampant horse and a silver arrow??? well the horse has 2 of the best jockeys while the Arrow is guided by an archer with Robin hood's legendry skills. Where does that leave a certain Renault??? all these questions should be answered within the next 3-4 races.

lets see what comes next.

By the looks of it... a lot of circuits are gonna be marked red....

n that means conquered.

--Andy

Speed Trap...

It is coming...

for the first time in 15 years, there will be 22 humans racing each other in state-of-the-art machines to fill a void created last year by one God. critics may say that it is a fair race now...everyone being mortal. These racers will try to pick up where God left. At least they have the confidence that they can. they will try to prove themselves worthy of carrying forward the legacy, the perfection, the precision and the passion to win of a great legend. Oh they'll try so hard...

They will all fail...

Because there may be many religions and may Gods, but when it comes to Formula 1 Racing...

there can be only one God...

MICHAEL SCHUMACHER.

Flexing my fingers here....

I wont even comment on the contribution of these girls!!! what pillu said when shen pushed me to create this blog was something like this...'andy we'll create a blog n write fundu stuff there...'
fundu for her is a iir report i guess...n su is dunno where...
so that leaves me...n all this space is mine. I can write about my favourite topics here without anyone labelling me 'boring' or such stuff...
so watch out...
Andy

Identity blurred...

We all live in a system where to an extent you identity is defined by the level of competence in academics. So that means that a dumb student who get first class by virtue of his memorising skills is considered intelligent, but someone who has some in-depth knowledge but cannot represent himself in the exams ends up being undervalued. Well we can argue about this point but this generally the case. And then there is an elite class of people. People like me, who neither study nor are clever and who for sure dont know what the examiner wants!!! so what happens is that every exam that we give is ad-hoc. So last exam was a good endeavor whereas i tried to study in this one and consequently expected a good result. Big mistake!!! well i failed miserably in my eyes... but then i remember writing something in this space about fighting for a lost cause... please refer that :D
One thing's for sure, I'll not change. And i love myself for that!!!
--Andy

SUDDEN DEATH!!!

Manchester United Vs. Liverpool FC...
amazing match!!!! Liverpool dominated Man U for 90 minutes... Paul Scholes got a read card and Wayne Rooney was injured. and whats the result?? Manchester united 1 -0 Liverpool FC. Manchester United are amazing at finishing off games in the dying moments of the match. The same happened here. Injury time of 4 minutes was declared in the second half and in the second minute, Man U were awarded a free kick. Ronaldo took it. It was on target but the goalkeeper managed to put a hand to it. But unfortunately for him (and for Liverpool) it landed right at the foot of John O'Shea who was just 2 feet from the net. It was just a formality then.
Manchester United are in amazing form this season and are maintaining an impressive run and lead at the front.
MAN U FOREVER!!!!

--Andy

hard work!!! show off

Report March 1, 2007


Areas visited: Malviya Nagar and Vasant Vihar Market
Time taken: 1230-1420 hours
Target Organizations: 6 + 1
Actual covered: 4 + 1

Malviya Nagar, a hustling bustling market place with a series of stores that make your daily wares available. From clothes to shoes, from sweets to groceries and from Cadburys to Mars.
The general vibe of the market is that of a very conservative shopkeeper kind. They do not find it attractive to entertain the first time surveyors. This is not only about the outlets that were a part of the visit, but others too. Well if I may I would like to blame it to the stars too, jokes apart, I would look forward to a more warm response in the second visit if possible.
Coming back to the survey. The display in most of the shops was not very impressive. The foreign players have dominated the space.
But one interesting fact pointed out about the foreign players is that their basic cost of production in very high as compared to the Indian players.Observation made me realize that no matter what Cadburys is the bestseller among the Indian players. One can find this by looking at the indigenous gift packs for the upcoming festival of colors. There were gift packs of all ranges from INR 125 to 550, made to order or stock, as the case may be.
Cold response from one of the stores disheartened my effort but being warned earlier about the same I gave up the right whatsoever. A store manager asked me to come after some time, with due respects I asked to spare a few minutes but was shoved away. I covered other firms and returned to the store to get the same response. Somehow I took a decision to move to other market.

Next stop Vasant Vihar or Priya’s as we fondly call it. Not one day goes by without hordes of college and school going teenagers painting the place with fun and frolic. Welcome to the Hip Hop generation’s hang out. Here we find a suitably located and artfully decorated Le Marche Food Company Pvt ltd. Greetings, poised salesmen and a talented manager; a perfect recipe for a strategic vendor. The shop had prefect display and no complaints at all.
It was a treat.



Analysis of the questionnaire

Q1. What do you feel about the Cadbury products as a consumer?
Of the 5 respondents
Excellent: 1
Very good: 3
Good: 2

Q2. Do you offer the customers the products you believe in?
The response was a surprising one. Only 2 out of the 5 respondents said that they sell the goods they believe in, rest were of the businessman opinion. Sell whatever that brings in value or revenue.

Q3: Suggest 3 hot spots in your shop where the display can be effective.
Two suggestions came up in the form of attractive racks and stand alone counters {fully stocked}.

Q4: How do you collect the consumer response?
It generally works on the word of mouth.

Q5: Did you pass on the feed back to the Cadbury representative?
In all the cases the feedback was given but interestingly in one of the stores the manager is highly glad to pass on the ASM’s or dealer’s number.

Q6: Beyond the schemes, what measures can increase the sales, visibility and overall performance of the Products?
This was the main subject of the survey. All respondents were upset about the margins but those being not negotiable were out of the purview of the study.
Still following points came up:
· Find an answer to the high margins in other chocolates.
· Match up the international quality and packaging
· Schemes for sellers and buyers
· Cost effective
· Gifts or incentive

Q7: How good, in your opinion is the idea of Paper/Plastic coupons as a part of the loyalty program? Rate on 1 to 10
This idea got an average response, with a few highly supportive and a few strictly against. The fundamental and most important factor being that
It must not be routed through the distributors. I.e. should be straight from the company.


My recommendations

No matter how much we say, Cadbury is the number one choice for chocolates among the Indian players. A striking fact is that the Retailers want higher margins which are not available as of now. A few interesting suggestions were made by them but the underline fact cannot be ignored.

irr

INITIAL INFORMATION REPORT
­­­Summer Internship Program
Name- Pallavi Puri
Enrollment Number- 06BS2186
Telephone Number- 09246241623/09818832770
Email I.D. - puri.pallavi@gmail.com

I. Project Details-
Title of the project-
· Making Purple Star outlets as profitable as the modern trade outlet
· Brand recognition of Cadburys
· Making Purple Stars more effective
Area of the project- Marketing
Objective of the project- Brand Recognition and Modern Trade vs. Purple Star outlets
Description of the project- The Purple Stars are the high end outlets on the sales and revenue front. But the foreign players offer better margins and hence get better display and recognition. What can be done by the organization at maintain the goodwill and the market share.

II. Organizational Details-
Name of the organization- Cadbury India limited
Address of the organization-
AB 4
Community Center
Safdarjung Enclave
Near Kamal Cinema hall
New Delhi
Telephone numbers- not available
Email- shall put up when I get the information
Main activity of the organization- manufacture, procurement and distribution of confectionary.
Name and designation of the head of the organization-
Mr. Vivek Gupta, Branch Head
Work timings- 0900-1900 hrs
Expected stipend- information not available

III. Company Guide-
Name- Kushal Gupta
Designation- Delhi Metro Head
Telephone numbers- 09910394921
Email- not available

IV. Project Implementation and schedule-
Schedule-
Methodology- survey, Interviews, Questionnaire, sampling and experimentation
Any other details-

V. I will submit the following report as per the schedule given below:
Evaluation Component Date Planned
Project Proposal 15th March 2007
Interim Report 22nd April 2007
Final Report 24th May 2007
Faculty Guide Name Mr. P.V.Murli Krishna